Wer mit Ungeheuern kämpft, mag zusehn, dass er nicht dabei zum Ungeheuer wird. Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein.

Mittwoch, 10. Februar 2016

Are you drinking?

washed-up, on shore, the old yellow notebook 
out again 
I write from the bed 
as I did last 
year. 
will see the doctor, 
Monday. 
"yes, doctor, weak legs, vertigo, head- 
aches and my back 
hurts." 
"are you drinking?" he will ask. 
"are you getting your 
exercise, your 
vitamins?" 
I think that I am just ill 
with life, the same stale yet 
fluctuating 
factors. 
even at the track 
I watch the horses run by 
and it seems 
meaningless. 
I leave early after buying tickets on the 
remaining races. 
"taking off?" asks the motel 
clerk. 
"yes, it's boring," 
I tell him. 
"If you think it's boring 
out there," he tells me, "you oughta be 
back here." 
so here I am 
propped up against my pillows 
again 
just an old guy 
just an old writer 
with a yellow 
notebook. 
something is 
walking across the 
floor 
toward 
me. 
oh, it's just 
my cat 
this 
time.

charles bukowski