"The morning you marry your true love, I will have an ex-boyfriend laughing somewhere because I told him that he was crazy to be jealous of you; but it was always you. It was you before I moved in with him and it was you after I left. It is not still you, but sometimes I do wake up with a pit in my stomach that I call by your name.
The morning you marry your true love, I will be on the phone with a man I have never met, wailing like an unruly child until the sound of my sobs drown out anything comforting he could hope to say.
The morning you marry your true love, I will ball my hands into fists and sink like a worm into the bottom of a bottle of fine silver tequila.
The morning you marry your true love, at least three people will say to me: “I thought you’d let this go already.” I will try to explain that leaving you is something I am still trying to process. I will try to explain that letting go comes in waves. I will try to explain that even when we didn’t appreciate each other anymore, you still felt like my other half. Sometimes you still feel like my other half.
The morning you marry your true love, everything will taste like quiet panic. Like being startled by house-sounds in the dark. Like walking up to the wrong person in public. I will keep trying to picture your hand with someone else’s ring on it.
The morning you marry your true love, I will try to muster up some kind of faith. I will hope that you are making the right choices. I really hope that you are making the right choices. I know I can’t weigh in on them anymore."
